Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Monkey business

I had a late late night last night. No my fault... just how things turned out I'm affraid.

Returning home with my tail between my legs after yet another drubbing at the hands of a youthful 5 a side football team, I chilled out with my house mates and caught up with their weekends happenings. Generally everyone seemed quite optimistic that this coming weekend was going to be more eventful.

I finally decided to retire to my room about 11pm and switched on my computer to quickly download any emails and maybe just play a quick hand or two of poker (as you do). Email was erratic, and my internet connection kept timming out - but I got all my new messages through. Then I sparked up my poker software and challenged a table full of Turkish and American amateur poker players.... ok it was 200 of them:-

The computer screen loaded up the first of 20 tables - announcing my arrival and the first hand was delt to me. I looked good for the first hand.. a pair of jacks, not bad. Firmly I made the first raise of the hand and quickly the computer timed me out and ejected me out of the hand. DARN!

After restarting my computer - the software loaded up once more and I was just a large blind and my raise down from my initial stack of chips... as expected. Amazingly though, 23 players had already been knocked out! I was in the last 177. I checked the 'i'm back' button and the room crashed... this time I managed to re-load up the room with only a small blind lost. Still I looked good, I was in the last 169 and only just under the average stack.

Feeling a little stressed I gingerly pressed the 'i'm back' (IMB) button and the cards began to fly around the table, this time I had low unsuited connectors. Fold.

Then it crashed again. Screwing up my face and raming my forehead with my fist, I went about restarting my machine another time. I had lost no chips but was next inline for the large blind and had pocket queens!! Oh yes... taking this pocket pair to the bank baby! Crash. F*%$£%* F*&£$%%!!

Ok, ok, calm down. By the time i had managed to reconnect to the room I had lost another big and small blind. 35 minutes had passed and I had not played a single hand, also I had lost 300 chips from a starting 1500... the average being just over 2000. I think I was about 139th. A 5 minute dealer break began as I was loading up the room again. Crash.

After screaming like a monkey for a few moments, I began dancing like one whilst mashing the keyboard in some vain attempt to speed up the recovery of my poker room screen... O-O-O-A-A-AAAAAAA!

After 15 minutes of not being able to connect, I eventually caught glimpse of my progress, 700 chips and in the top 120! Stuff it, I pressed 'All-in' in the hope that I may win enough chips to keep my enforced folding action going - CRASH! AAAAA-OOO-O-A-O-o-O? AAAAAARRRGGGGHH!!

Once again I connected and managed to go 'all-in' with a 3 and a 5 unsuited, 550 chips and lost. Thank f*%$ for that.....

Now begins the painful journey into understanding wireless networking and trouble shooting...


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Wrinkly winker

The morning after. It took me a while to get out of bed this morning, a few beers with my family and a friends in my home town. I met for the first time my neice and god daughter too! Very cute little girl... and apart from the constant wriggling and winking at me, she was fairly quiet too! Awesome!

After dragging a few of the locals out for a beer, we all ended up speaking the drunken language later on - not making much sense and really annoying anyone sober. Serves them right.

Managed to of load at least £10 into a quiz machine, before I realised that in fact I am not the brain of Britain and booze makes me even less so. I would like to believe that I have learned a lesson there... hmmmmm.

Much more drink and many more embarrassing conversations later we all were eventually chucked out of the pub.

Signing off...

Saturday, August 26, 2006


Well, I got back to my home county safe enough, if only a litle bit later than expected.

Last evenings poker game was quite eventful! It was the first time I had seen Collie win a match and a much deserved win it was... even though it was at the expense of myself who came second once again. Clawing my way back from only having a big blind to bet was my own personal highlight. Proper BO! I tell thee!

My house mates joined in for this particular round, one of them quite an accomplished shit-talker! He was ruffling feathers and sending all kinds of tell tales and wrong signals - LOL. It was exciting.


Thursday, August 24, 2006

We are who we are....who are you?

This interesting (if some what short article) was found in The New Scientist written in 2003. I had no idea that the biologically accepted age limit for personality change was 30 years. Further studies have suggested that this is no longer the case. We are talking about a socially adept person whose personality changes to complement the surrounding environment. Maybe 'changes' is a harsh word - how about, 'is sympathetic to the surrounding environment'? The article presensents to us that we infact are in control of the way we choose to grow, and how our Big 5 ( is affected by our age.

I like the thought that we are all still able to adapt and redefine ourselves on a continous basis...

24-23-31-26-25 Thats me!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

You can't keep a good blogger down!

Hey, so this is what happened over the weekend and week so far. Nothing too exciting yet...

Friday saw me and 7 other pokerettes play a massive game of Texas Holdem. The stakes were average for us (£10) and the blind raising was vicious. We had a winner at 12pm again, it was not me though - I fell at the final hurdle after calling an all-in then loosing the head to head on the river. Remember the card - a JACK! I really do hate jacks. They should leave jacks out of the deck... (good news is that I doubled my stake!) Yipeeeeeee boink... back down to Earth.

Saturday saw me shopping with my house mate for a car... my prolonged and repeated efforts to convince him to buy a Porsche or atleast a Mercedes were in vain - he had his heart set on a VW Polo. Bless. A gay blue one. Bless.

Later on I managed to cook up a HOT chilli and all the house went out for a few drinks, and a few more drinks and yes I blew my 22 units again... only by 5 units though! Still feeling good about my move to reduce my alcohol intake. Oh yeah, the city centre is now rife with stag and hen parties. So far the best group were superhero costumes. No Spiderman though - for shame....

Sunday was incredibly unproductive, I managed for the 3rd time this year to laze around in my bath robe all day and not change. Hmmmm soooo lazy....

Football on Tuesday was agony, on and off the pitch. We lost miserably and one of the opponents team was called Jack. I hate jacks.

So how is the week panning out? Welllll, I have an exciting Friday planned - POKER (a trend is forming) and socialising, then a flight back to my homeland to see my family and friends. BIG BIG weekend of catching up.

Before I sign this entry off though - I have been thinking of a poker nickname for myself. I am a little loose sometimes and also I like to play the odd mind game. so maybe I could be Jedi Cuba? Or Gary 'the Jedi' Cuba? It's a bit egotistical to give myself a nickname so ... I should tease it into the games. HMMmm you seek a flush, yes? E-he-he-heee... When chasing a flush you not reach, look as good as my pair of 5's you will not e-he-he-he-he.... I just hope that they don't start calling me Yoda-Cuba.



Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Midweek update

We won!! Yes, our first win in 5-a-side football for Napalm Mucker Ho FC... well happy. We thrashed the opposition 10-5, with Al* playing out of his skin and my housemate and our new goalkeeper doing a great job!

Afterwards I had 1 unit in the form of a shandy - pretty good eh? My weekend is looking like a non-sober one. Over the moon.

Ok that leaves me to sort out my car bumper, my new jobs contract documents, the house bills, the hoovering, blah blah blah blah blah blah......

*Al - New footie player and poker buddy.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Weekend over.. and out.

I had a fine weekend actually, place aside the non-eventful Friday, forget loosing at poker on Saturday and ignore spending 4 hours trying to finely tune our households new wireless network with my housey. All in all, a lot had been accomplished. I even managed a midnight skate on Saturday... awesome!

Alcohol units last week:- I scored 23 out of the recommended 22. Not bad, and to be fair an awful lot happened during the week to cause celebration.

This weeks target is 10 again with 12 at the weekend.Let us hope I manage to keep to the limit this time...


Saturday, August 12, 2006

Saturday.. and its still morning!!

One of the first times in which I stayed in all night on a Friday, inevitably lead to a nice long sleep and woke up fresh in the morning. So I grabbed my football and headed on to the Downs with my house mate. Got dog shit on my combat trousers and went home.

I have decided that I hate dog owners. Dogs are fine poo'ing every where - but the owners need to be taught a lesson or two.


Friday, August 11, 2006

The Napalm Mucker Ho's - Game On!

This blog entry is dedicated to the members of the Napalm Mucker Ho Football Club (NMHFP), a 5-a-side soccer team playing in the Filton PRO5 Tuesday League.

After training hard and hunting down the very best from my work place and friends of work colleagues, we entered the cage fight - that 5-a-side football.

July 25th
Our first game was against SUB'REF'. Everyone was pretty nervous and shaky to start with - but we began stringing some passes together after going 2 goals down in 10minutes. When we began stuffing a few goals away oursleves we led 6-3! It was looking like an awesome start to our season... until our fitness failed us of course. Eventually with 5mins of the second half left we found ourselves 9-7 down and looking pretty knackered. I managed to put us to within one goal of a draw with 2 mins to go after a series of neat passing from our inexperienced team. With only seconds to go, a ball was fed directly to my feet infront of goal and the keeper charged out and began to slide toawrds my legs, a quick side step and a side footed pass into the back of the net drew us level. The whistle blew! Our first game and a single point, everyone was incredibly happy and looking forward to next week. Players were:- Me, Rich, RobA, RobB, Matt, Andy and Tim. Pro5 Man of the match - Me, Players Man of the Match - Tim.

August 1st
We played Dirty Old Town for our second game and found ourselves 5-0 down in around 7mins. It was torture. We managed to pull 3 goals back by half time (20mins) and the score stood at 6-3 to the opposition. Never had I seen such a dirty game! They were pushing us against the walls, chasing us into corners and bouncing us off the floor. Quite simply they wanted the win an were happy to bully us into submission. Tim gave as good as he got and scored 2 goals to boot! After an embarrassing 40mins of football we ended up loosing 4-13. Players were:- Me, Rich, RobA, RobB,Matt,Andy, and Tim. Players Man of the Match - Tim and Rich.

August 8th
With RobH out injured and our solid performer Tim gone also, we looked for more players and found 3 new ones! Our 3rd game was between us and the current divsion leaders Not Very Athletic. I kind of hoped that since the last team were named Dirty Old Town.. and they played dirty... would mean that Not Very Athletic were going to be not very athletic and fat. Again we had 5 goals go past us in around 6mins, after tightening up our marking we survived the rest of the first half without conceeding anymore and scoring 2 ourselves. 5-2 to the oppo after 20mins. The 2nd half began badly and we went behind another 4 goals in around 4mins, our marking completely loose and innafective. We managed rescue some pride with another 5mins of not conceeding and scoring 2 more ourselves. Our new man Dave sticking away 2 cool, calm and collected goals under pressure. The score was 9-4 to the oppo. Then for the remaining time we marked well, but allowed them to shoot from everywhere and anywhere. They romped home the winners with a massive 15 goals to our 4. Rich, our goal keeper - very annoyed and helpless against the onslaught of shots. Time to talk tactics. Players were:-Me, Rich, RobA, Matt, Andy, Dave, Ben and Tom. Pro5 Man of the Match - Rich, Players Man of the Match - Me.

We train on Monday...


Thursday, August 10, 2006

New day, new dawn...

Last evening, when returning home I found the letter that I had been waiting for on my door mat - a week early. After sweating a little bit, I decided to open it and see if I had passed my professional exam... and thank F#@* I DID!

Not going to mean much to most of you, but I am now a professionally qualified Engineer for my troubles. I celebrated last night with my house mates by drinking another 2 units of alcohol! Leaving me with 1 unit left for the week - this equates to a pint of lager-shandy.... or a glass of bubbly! I will use it wisely.

CUBA!! Ariba ariba!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Keeping it real!

Sorry for boring the pants off of you but its a Big Brother Special...

Nominated this week are Richard and Imogen.

I must admit to not really keeping tabs on this past week but watched with glee as the previously evicted 4 housemates (Mikey, Nicky, Grace and Lea) were all reinstated into the BB household (albeit the house next door). I have however been watching and spitting at the nominations being made! How on this God's earth is Aisleyne still in the house?

The only person who knows what is going on is Richard, but unfortunately for him - no one will listen as they all seem to mistrust his rantings regarding her and anyone else. So for all his helpful hints and the odd prod and poke at her... the remaining stupid housemates remain... well... stupid.

It is true that she (meaning Aisleyne) has been through an awful lot in the BB house, resulting in almost a nervous breakdown from what I can make out... if it were anyone else, they surely would have gone crazy and gotten themselves picked upon and eventually evicted. As far as I can read, the remaining house mates have seen both the worst and the very worst of Aisleyne, yet they still seem to forgive her. Make no mistake this lady is very strong, all the evidence point towards her having a strong, willful personality with high machiavellian tendancies. Even the letter form her father had an under current of coded meaning and intelligence.

I think that she will go far, her artful deception has only been challenged by Richards 'reality check' type comments... and at this point in the game it appears to be a war that Aisleyne is winning. Lets hope that Richard stays in to continue this compelling duel... finally can we all remember that as the next housemate is being evicted on friday... a new one will be coming in - holding an awful amount of dirt on our resident Valkyrie... let the battle commence.

I drunk another single unit of alcohol last night, bring my total up to 7... boy-oh-boy-oh-boy...


141hours and 25minutes left.....

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Countdown

Hi Blog Blaggers, I wish to add in also another counter along with the units of alcohol which I have consumed... and this is a final countdown to receiving my professional exam results in the post. They will be sent out on the 14th August (next Monday), I should receive them the next day. Wish me luck...

170hours and 37minutes left


I came to a decision over the weekend... I shall reduce my weekly alcohol intake to no more than 10 units. For your information this equates to 5 pints of lager/beer/cider or 5 glasses of wine (a bottle) or 5 spirit measures or a mixture of the above! According to doctors, the safe limit for men is infact 21 units (no more than 4 units a day)... so, feeling very smug with my health , general well being and liver looking safe for a while I headed on into the week.

No alcohol

The drunken Gods are against me, I ordered a round of drinks which included a pint of cider for me in Alter Ego (White Ladies Road), not normally a problem, but on Monday they have this perverse promotion where once you have orderd your round of drinks - you can then toss a coin with the bar man. If you guess the flip correctly, then you recieve the same round again - free of charge. Yes... free of charge. So my house mate Rudolf* guessed the toss and we won, add to that a pint of cider before we entered the bar... and I have blown 6 units in one night (which according to doctors is a bad thing). The rest of week looks pretty sober now.

Oh well, not really planned anything this weekend anyways...


*Rudolf - is my house mate, but this is not his real name. I have changed it to protect the innocent.
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