Friday, September 29, 2006

Poo Wars - The last toilet stop

This morning started particularily bad... but suddenly everything just got more interesting - let me explain. After having another long evening out... errrr... discussing current affairs over a glass of wine (yes, thats it... discussions...), I made it home late again, well past my bed time infact.

Anyway, to cut a long and boring story short - I was late into work again! After downing 2 mugs of strong coffee I made my way to the toilet with a big grin on my face... this bathroom call was going to be remembered and treasured by atleast the next 5 bathroom users, if you know what I mean ;-D... I know my bathroom antics are a smidge rumbustious... some may say childish - BUT WHO CARES WHAT SOME PEOPLE SAY! I entered the cubicle to find horror of horrors.... 3, yes 3 of the hugest dollops of man-facies I have ever seen, stinking up the immediate vicinity but more importantly... they were not mine.... wait! Are they man-faecies? Yes they are... definitely.....

Now, I pride myself in being able to contaminate a bathroom room with my morning after deliveries, which usually have a half life of atleast 3 hours - its a victimless crime you see. But what I saw in that big white porcelin bowl was not just poo ever so slowly swelling in brown fibrous toilet water... nooo, what I saw was competition.

Before you ask, no I didn't take a picture of it on my camera phone - what the hell do you take me for? Sheessshhh! But if you do want to see a copy of it, a guy I know actually did take a picture before I flushed it away. Bit of a coincidence that, wow.

So I sat down and added my aroma to the satuated air, the mix was infact incredibly powerful and gave me a headache. I hate headaches, especially poo propergated ones.

We have a war people... and my enemy is unknown to me. Let the battle commence.


Thursday, September 28, 2006

Pictures.... of me

In your FACE file size restrictions... I WIN!!


The wheels on the bus....

Sweet schaweeeeeeet late bus. I managed to get into work 5 minutes late this morning due to no buses turning up on time. That was the first hour long commute... seriously, I could have walked if I had know... but it just makes this weekend coming - thats Scooter Weekend... all the more sweeter... heheheheheheee. YES! Oh and I won another $200 on poker last night... fast becoming my part time jobber, me babber.

Gary the Jedi

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Bo! I have been completely calm and chilled in readiness for this weekend so far... last weekend after boozing my liver half to death again... lying in a pool of self pity and a small amount of sick on the tongue - I had a chance to think again. Damn, just realised that I have left my damp laundry in the tumble drier for a week... crap.

Thinking is for chumps, and I know I am a chump....... and that is it. I have not decided to suddenly stop grilling myself, merely - I have decided to listen to everyone else a little more. You know... sheep my life up a little. So lets try it.

Cuuuubaaaa Cuuuubaaa (thats my best sheep zombie impression I'm afraid)

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


I have just realised, looking back on my blog-rantings, that I have not discussed my love for snowboarding. I know what you are thinking. That old Gary has picked up a new hobby and is now goner ram it down our throats. Well maybe, the ramming that is. It was in January of 2004 that I decided to take to snow surfing... and the time has come to organise seasons this up and coming snow adventure. Time to book some accommodation and a flight! I need ideas...

...time to call upon the 'old boarding posse', the 'grays on trays', the 'teflon coated speed freaks'.... I'll keep you informed.


Monday, September 25, 2006

Born to be a little stupid

Take a look bloggers... its my new life on the road. No more riding the kerb line and pavements on a skateboard (yeah whatever), no more parking on the road in traffic jams like some kind of chump (yeah you go Gary!)... it's time to crack heads on the proverbial car park which is know as Bristol Rush Hours... you have been warned, I no longer take prisoners. Enter the Zooooooommmmmerrrrrrrr!!

A 50cc moped with attitude (so I am told - I actually pick it up this Saturday! Sssiting!!). This mean machine promises to start every morning, use less pertol than a glider - errr gliding, and deliver me to the office in style and poise. Heheheheee.... what a dork. Ok ok ok... I'm under no illusions. There will be automobile pilots jostling for a few inches of road, readily impinging my effortless headway through the traffic. No doubt there will be pedestrians only too eager to sacrifice the odd leg, arm or head to the scooter princes of Bristol (thats me that is :-D)... but I even with all those threatening my enjoyment of my new beast, I look forward to this weekend. With a hunger... and a little dread... and just a whiff of a poo smell.


Killer Cuba

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Myers.. you dawg!

Weeee! Time to go home soon. So far so good, work is fine and life in general quite upbeat. Feeling fit and my socialable functions are operating within likeable limits. Or so I have been told. Run the Myers Briggs Typology Test this afternoon... again and I am a ENFP with strong INFP attributes too... I am getting used to that forecast now. After taking that damned test so many times, unless I am lying to myself - I am indeed what the test concludes me to be. try it!

Yeah, yeah, I am not just simply what the test has concluded me to be... but I have a strong tendancy to be what Myers and Briggs had predicted all those years ago. Atleast the prediction regarding becoming an Engineer was right, not so sure about the Religious Leader somehow... but it is early days.

Cubism - the God that never sleeps
We the Cubites, believe that sleeping is for the wicked. Infact your body naturally wants to rest and sleep, and what else does it want to do instinctively? YES thats right! Evil, and wicked things! So join us in our vigil to purify our bodies so that we can eventually rise to heaven as a pure soul! Our final journey to meet our saviour will be an awakened one! Remember, sleep is for the wicked.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Pool party

Hows you Blog Blaggers? I have not been writing on here much recently and wanted to keep the site all updated and stuff.

I have been getting into trouble on the evenings... staying out late and introducing myself to random people. Generally this ends up in thoughtful conversation.. but sometimes not:-

Me - "So how about that pool table eh? Eh? (drunkenly pointing towards it) The top bit is all bent up (meaning the surface is infact slanting or has a slight adverse fall to one or more of it's cushions)".
Random1 - "Yeah-yeah sh*t it does mate! It's all over there innit? (waving hand up and down, towards where most of the balls have just now congregated)"
Me - "This sucks, watch this shot... (grabs the wrong cue, and knocks a pint glass onto the floor)"
Random1 - "HAHAHAHAaaa.. oi that was my pint! F**king stupid drunk!"
Random2 - "Girls! Are you going to play this game or what!?"
Random1 - "It's not pay by the minute dude! Chill out limp wad!"
Me - "Errrr actually it is per minute... " (casting eyes towards the clock above the bar)
Random1 - "Crap!"
Random2 - "Look do I have put you both to bed or are you going to finish your game? (hand tightening round pool cue)
Me - "Hehehehehe, he wants to put you to bed - I forgot your name sorry? Errr..."
Random2 - "Right, that's it..."

Not my finest hour... but glad I could remember it eventually.


Friday, September 08, 2006

Mouth full of money

A few good points and few bad points for today.

Bad - So far I have consumed 15units of my weekly allowance of 22units of alcohol :-C

Good - I am up by the total of $410 in online poker this from last month and this week!!

Bad - I still have not cleaned my room....

Good - Skated into work this morning, taking 15minutes!

Bad - This evening I have to skate home, this time up hill....

It's the pleasure pain thang all over again.

Have a good weekend.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

Pokerage - The age of poker

It is everywhere at the moment isn't it? I'm relatively confident that even if you have never played it before, that you may have been offered a game or know someone who is playing it. It's huge! So far I have spent around 10 months on and off - gambling with friends or online. I have progressed my game but recently I have noticed my weak spots - the areas of my game which are being taken advantage of... and I am worried.

This game speaks a language which is quite common... for all intents and purposes it is an extension of your personality. My weaknesses stem from being over committed when I sense a over compensating eagerness in my opponent (a bluff!). Sometimes I misread this and get caught out. I must learn to be more observant. During the last 10 months I have found that certain skills have increased ie. being able to read a weak hand which may eventually become a monster hand, also my poker face has become stronger, less tell tale. So I can back up and put a hand down... and this is my greatest fault. I tend to be beaten off a lot of hands. Sometimes for no reason ( i feel) I hold onto my cards and call a player all the way to the river and find that they had nothing! I can't explain that - maybe it's my new force skills developing.

There is a lot about my game that I need to practice, but I do not intend on reading any poker books. I believe that reading books will only teach me methods and hints on how to play certain cards at certain times with certain types of players. I cannot see how this is going to give me an edge. I may as well continue to play my own game and develop my reads on people.

A classic read is the very quick raise, or call by an opponent. This is used to reduce the time which other players can focus on that player. This can mean:-

  • A monster hand for a player who wants to disguise it - badly. In which case re-raise, to see where you are.
  • A crap to average hand for a player who wants you to think that they have something better. In which case make sure that you have something good, and call/check (let them bury themsleves), or simply re-raise large enough to bluff them off the pot.
  • A player chasing a flush/straight/set. If you can see this coming, then you can really take them to the cleaners. If you have the nut flush/straight already, then milk them for everything. If you have a decent hand which can only be beaten by what they are chasing... then raise a large one! Get them off, or get them committed. If the flush/straight does not turn up... you have them buried.

I have loads to learn.... wish me luck.

Red Bull - Lifes cancer.

Hey there! It's been a week or so and lots has happened, hold onto your skirts:-

  1. Managed to make it back to 'Homeland' over last weekend. Twas super, played a bit of golf (hehehe I said played golf - of course I meant golf ball hunting), also I was able to see my family and lounge around a little.
  2. Started my new job - the usual forms to fill out, induction, introductions yadda yadda. So far I have been using the bus in the mornings (30mins)... may try to skate commute tomorrow (lightspeed - will be there before I left).
  3. Footie went well! We lost, but we were playing well between ourselves. We may very well win another game soon... I get knock down, I get knocked down, I get knocked down - but I get back up again, you are never going to keep me down... I....
  4. Thought about doing some decorating in my room (yes thought), and decided just to clean it up a bit. I may put up some posters and stuff.
  5. Got my eye on a nice camera at the moment... can I bring myself to buy it? Maybe I should just buy another digi compact camera? Grumble grumble grumble
  6. Decided to start creating my monster skate vid. It will include lots of pictures of my skate/bike buddies doing their thang...

Wow, there is an awful lot on my to do list again. A curse on laziness!!

Get lost you!


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