It's amazing, life that is. We can flow quite contently from one experience to another, only paying lip service to the lessons taught to us by our parents or mentors. Is it we do not understand the lessons or ourselves? Yet.
I say yet, because at one point in time, and this point could be literally, anytime - it will dawn on us that we are the architects of our own success and destruction.
The unfortunate thing, for the more strong minded and stubborn amongst us, this realisation may occur on our death beds. Don't laugh. It happens.
My life has been a loaded tunnel of realisations and epiphanies.
I have been jumping from one foot to the other like I was constantly walking on hot coals - exclaiming to the world that I KNOW! I know what makes me tick...
My friends [who really know me] would describe me as a 'whole' person struggling to destroy and reinvent myself at every possible insurrection.
Why? Well that's a good question. It always is isn't it?
Over the years I have become quite efficient at it. Destruction. Perhaps I'm still not yet comfortable with my inner dreams and thoughts yet. I know that I have not yet reached my full potential, and that is an exciting thought.
I was told recently that I am quite negative as a person. A pessimist. Contrary to this, I had always thought of myself as an optimist! How could I have gotten that so wrong? It's basic.
I was also told that I seemed to have made turning negativity energy to positivity into an art form. This is how create, this is how I mange to succeed against all the odds. It's in my nature to prevail. I listen to others speak about their problems and challenges, and I see salvation, I can't help but smile. I know the way out.
It is cool being me.
Tapping into my subconscious will be my mission for the next few weeks. I need to find answers to a few questions;
-Why do I well up every-time I speak about my brothers? Seriously every-time.
-Why am I continuously over compensating?
-How do I remove my tendency to procrastinate?
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